Borang penilaian untuk tahun 2015 yang aku hantar pada suku ke-4 tahun lepas aku tulis komen yang tak berapa macam komen.
Dimulakan dengan pandangan jujur diselangi puji-pujian tersembunyi serta menyatakan rasa syukur, kemudian puji-pujian untuk diri sendiri sebagai percubaan melobi markah penilaian, kemudian komen untuk menjustifikasi tindakan mengambil cuti dalam tahun tersebut terutama cuti kecemasan dan terlebih cuti yang sangat sangat sangat sangat diberatkan oleh pihak pengurusan yang tahapnya begini - walau sebaik mana prestasi kerja dan berdedikasi pun, isu cuti dan kehadiran adalah penentu dalam kenaikan pangkat, kenaikan gaji dan bonus tahunan.
Tapi tujuan sebenar justification comment yang aku tulis adalah untuk menyampaikan pandangan dan mesej kepada pihak pengurusan supaya dapat memperbaiki kelemahan yang ditekankan dalam komen tersebut.
Harap-harap ada yang bijak dan dapat menghadam mesej tersebut.
Harap-harap ada yang berani melakukan perubahan.
Dan semalam, setelah berdialog di lorong belakang bersama dua lagi rakan ibu termasuk blogger Kak Julie, aku rasa ini sebenarnya masalah yang berlaku di semua tempat.
Jadi setelah difikir-fikir (dari tahun lepas fikir) aku rasa eloklah aku terbitkan di sini.
Dengan harapan kalaupun tiada perubahan di tempat aku pun, moga-moga mampu menjentik minda mereka yang mungkin ada access untuk perubahan tersebut walaupun di tempat lain.
Inilah apa yang aku tulis dalam ruang komen dalam borang penilaian tersebut:
2015 is surely a hard year - with the oil price crisis and the currency drop. Not to mention many other glitches make it even harder. Companies in the industry are downsizing the expenditure. I know that our organization is not excluded.
Despite the ‘horror stories’ I heard from other organization, the working environment in our organization especially in the department seems quite normal. Everyone have works to do and as usual we are trying to deliver the best that we could. Everyone play their parts.
In such a difficult time, to be in this kind of working environment is something I should be grateful.
Yet improvement is an unceasing affair. Along with drafting and design skill my understanding and knowledge of instrumentation just getting better - thanks to my colleague xx (xx. engineer) via the xx xx Program.
Being able to decide and solving the problems as well as providing solution to others make the works more exciting. Now I am not just like my work, I love it instead. Also many thanks for the trust that my superior gave me when he let me handle the works on my own as I view it as a recognition of my ability.
Anyway, the belief of a good employee is the one who has none or less EL (emergency leave) is something that I think should be redefined as it is a ‘one size fits all’ sort of rule.
In my opinion this dogma has discriminate the group of working mothers especially those who have toddler and infant children. Doing our best at work, contributing good ideas, playing a good teammate, very committed, proactive and dedicated, then unfortunately our infant and toddler fall sick and we know that they need proper care then we know that we have to take leave and it is a fact that children falling sick is unpredictable.
Case studies, just few weeks before 2015 my infant son who was 4 months old spent one week in the hospital after a five-days fever. He got a blood infection – something that might bring fatality.
The worst part was few days before the diagnosis I was still sending him to the nursery thinking that he would be fine after taking the medicine. I was trying not to take EL, reserving some leaves for the next year in an attempt to avoid taking excessive leave and I had no idea how serious his condition was as he was still feeding and playing happily.
What a selfish act I have done just to live up to the rule.
Then his hospitalization trigger my thought and there are few lessons I have learned after years;
-that to deliver a good quality of work and having improved in skill and knowledge may not be well recognized if we have series of EL even if it has never been misused. In the evaluation, it is the number that matter, not the purpose.
-that the perception may somehow has indirectly violates the right of the children to receive proper care from their employed parents.
-that to be a good parent one may have to be a ‘bad’ employee.
I wish that the evaluation on the area concerning attendance and EL will be conducted equitably, and the perception will be improved in the near future and reflecting us as a civilized group.